Q: Hi, Chris. I recently met a man I was attracted to while having drinks at a 5-star hotel. During the week, we texted a few times and met up for a nice dinner. We had fun and enjoyed our time together. I texted him a couple days later and invited him to an art gallery opening – for when he got back from his international business trip. I have not heard a peep since. I am a beautiful 50-something woman who looks younger and he’s 45-years-old, so not sure if that has anything to do with it. But he always responded back to my texts in a timely manner. So what’s up with his silence and should I text him again?
~ Tiffany in Seattle
Hi, Tiffany:
I understand your frustration.
At the very least, he could have declined (or accepted) your invitation—one way or other, right?
Unfortunately, since the advent of texting, it’s as though manners have gone out the window. Ghosting someone is also more common that not these days. Why? Because it’s that easy!
But to answer your first question, “what is up with his silence?”
Your guess is as good as mine. Maybe he doesn’t feel the same overall chemistry as you do with him. OR, maybe he is married or has a girlfriend and enjoying a little fun on the side. OR, he can be very attracted to you, but taking a step back (men do that, you know.) OR, since you mentioned international travel, he’s just inundated with work (although a man makes time for a woman of interest, business or not.) Your age-difference should have nothing to do with it—unless he’s looking to have biological kids.
BUT, more importantly, should you text him again?
No, you should not.
It’s HIS turn to communicate with you—and if by chance he didn’t get the text (highly doubtful), let the man BE the man. That means if he is interested in you, he will not hesitate to text you when he gets back from his trip.
Continue on with your life as if you never met him. And if you hear from him days or weeks later, only you can determine if you want to see him again. Go with your gut — there is no right or wrong here.
If you do happen to see him again, BE JUST AS NICE and the same lovely lady he originally met. Because you never know what is going on in someone’s life…so keep your guard down, but your radar up 🙂
Hope this helps.
Warmly,
Chris
P.S. Readers, please share this on your Twitter, Facebook, Google+, LinkedIn, Email, Reddit, Digg, Delicious or any appropriate social media site. Spread the word! I really do respond to authentic inquiries as time allows.
Christine Stelmack
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